I remember...... or do I?

Do I really remember? I'm not sure.... I mean I remember a lot of stuff like my first kiss, my first dog, my little brother being born.  But the thing that still haunts me, that makes me scared every time I get in a car I'm not sure if I really do remember...

In 2003 we were driving up as a family to my aunts house for a visit.  My dad was driving my mom had shotgun.  My older sister and little brother were in the middle of the car and me and my older brother were in the back.  All I remember is my dad yelling "hold on!!" the next thing I remember I was climbing into the back of the ambulance looking back at the devastating car crash.  from what my parents told me this is how the car accident happened.

We were driving up to my aunts house in Layton going northbound.  Southbound traffic was at a standstill.  A man in a suburban was talking to his friend not paying attention to the road in front of him.  When he realized that he was going to fast and wouldn't stop in time to miss the guy in front of him he swerved into on coming traffic flipping his car hitting 3 cars in front of us my dad swerved so that the rolling suburban wouldn't hit us head on but he hit the car in front of us and that hit us on the front right side of the car.  Our car was destroyed no one died but everyone was left with scars and trauma.  My dad had his arm cut open from his tricep down to his forearm.  My mom and I got a concussion.  My older sister and brother got whiplash that reversed the angle of their neck.  My little brother got cuts all over his head from the broken glass.  When the paramedics showed up they asked which car we were in.  When we told him that we were in the mini van all of their jaws dropped all of them told us that from the look of the car that no one should have survived the crash.

 I don't remember anything from the week after.. I have been told that I only asked question and that I didn't talk.  I don't have memories of my own of the car accident but I have my families memories and that is all i'll ever have.  Sometimes I wish I remembered but at the same time I don't it's scarred me and i don't really want to remember.