Monday, November 26, 2012
The Christmas i'm not looking forward to...
So my little brother is the youngest child... so he gets whatever he wants for Christmas. Well this year he decided he was going to try to build a go-kart with his friends. Needless to say they utterly failed.... The engine they took off of our old lawn mower caught on fire and is ruined so they have no engine. Well my parents, being the loving parents they are, bought him a $300 dollar go-kart so he could have a nice Christmas. At first I was happy for him but then my parents came over to me and said "so since we bought your little brother a go-kart we can't get you like anything this year so when you just get like a shirt and pants from us you can't be mad"......... well I'm pretty mad!! I mean I didn't want anything big this year but I like the surprise of Christmas. I love getting something you didn't think you wanted but end up using a lot.... so I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year.... I'm looking forward to the break and New Years!! but not Christmas.....
Thanksgiving
I had a vegan thanksgiving..... it sucked.... hard core...... I hate turkey and that's the only meat product that was available to me... so me and my dad ate the whole turkey..... but I hate turkey.... over all it was a pretty bad thanksgiving except the Redskins, Texans, and Patriots won!! that was good... except Rob Gronkowski didn't play... and I have him on my fantasy team.... but he didn't play so I benched him..... so not that good of a Slapsgiving... I mean Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
what drive me crazy
what drives me crazy? I'll tell you what drives me crazy!
- When people send you forever long texts. Just freaking call the person!!
- One worded texts. "hey so I think you're a really great person!" "K".... okay so when you get hit by a bus i'm just going to be like "K"
- When parents lecture you about doing something and then they turn around and do that exact same thing. That's when I want to throw a bus at my parents.
- Facebook. I get on to check what's going on with family and close friends. All of a sudden *BAM* one person will start liking all my pictures my statuses from like 2 months ago and I'm thinking to myself "whoa....... I hate this person 0_o
- 12 year olds talking about politics. They don't know a thing about anything!! why the heck are you talking?!??!
- People who hate how I met you mother. I will end you.
- Cat people. I will end you.
- People who like Jersey shore. I will end you.
- People who pretend to be your friend then stab you in the back. I will end you.
- People who say that Marvel is better than DC. I will end you.
- Math. I will end you.
- Hipsters (no offense to anyon.......no you know what? take offense!!!)
- People who use hashtags on facebook. I will end you!
RUSH
"Any final words of advice?" she whispered?
The Lisp from her tongue stud tells me I was with Dani.
I instantly remember a dark room where I see the murderer looking at me through his ski mask threatening to kill me. Knowing we were in the same situation knowing the murderer had found me even after I had escaped... it's different this time though..... I know what's going on and sadly Mike and Dani don't know what they're in for.
I start "I don't remember much except for being in a dark room....."
Dani holds her hand up telling me she has already heard enough.
"You don't remember? well then you are useless to us. We will just have to figure our own way out of this." She says.
"I went through this ten years ago!!" I scream at her "I am not useless I can help. Let me help get us out of here!"
"Why? if you can't remember details about what this lunatic did then how can you help us?"
I about spill the secret that I have kept for so long.
Mike sitting in the corner can feel the tension rising and steps in.
"Then help us. Tell us everything you can remember."
I was about to try as hard as I could to remember the story that I wanted to forget when we hear what sounds like a large metal door turning.
All of a sudden a bright light fills the room when I look up I notice that a door to the outside world has opened. We all sprint to the opening all taking in deep breaths of fresh air.
Dani looks around when she realizes we are in a long hall with the roof taken off so we could see the stars.
"There is a door at the end of the hall" Mike says. He looks at me seeing if this jogged my memory.
It did but I haven't shown that it did.
I start walking towards the door with Mike and Dani following close behind. This is the first time i get to look around at the surrounding area and myself.
I have a knife and gun the other two have the clothes on their backs.
I remember everything now.
I was hit over the head ten years ago on my way home from work. I woke up strapped to a table that had surgical supplies next to it. I panicked and started fidgeting to see if I could get out of the restraints. A large door opened to my right and in walks a man wearing a ski mask and a suit holding a knife. He looks at me and starts threatening to kill me for what I had done. He told me I had one chance to prove that I didn't do it. He held the blade to my neck. I start begging him to spare me that I didn't know what I had done. He laughed. Looked me in the eye and said "That's what everyone else said." He raised the blade to stab me in the heart. My hand became partially lose I pulled as hard as I could. It came loose. My hand grabbed the murderers arm. I struggled with him when I finally knocked the blade out of his hand the murderer ran to grab it while I try to get my other hand free. I look up and see he has grabbed the knife and is coming at me. When gets to me I grabbed one of the scalpels and stabbed him in the eye. He drops the knife on the table I am on. I grab it and stab him in the chest he instantly falls to the ground and cries out in pain. I get myself free and look down at the cold body of the man that just tried to kill me. I walk out of the room down the hall and into a giant lobby. I am in an old abandoned office building. I start walking towards the doors when I collapse. I wake up to the paramedics taking me away on a stretcher. I couldn't remember where I was or why was there.
I stop dead in my tracks startling Dani and Mike. "Are you alright?" Dani asks?
In one move I unholster my gun and shoot Dani in the heart.
Blood splatters on Mike. The look on his face is of pure horror. He looks up at me and falls to his knees begging me to not shoot him. I laugh and say "that's what everyone else said" *BANG* A lifeless corpse hits the ground. Pools of blood start growing as I stare at the bodies. I laugh quietly and turn to walk away. I remember everything now. I kidnapped both Mike and Dani in the intentions of killing them. I had put us in that small room and put the door on a timer so it would open. I needed to kill again. I had done this so I could kill. So i could have that rush again. I had it but it was already gone. I needed to kill again. I walked to the door opened it and there I was in the same lobby where the murderer had taken me. I walked out of the partially destroyed building and headed towards the park across the street to pick out my next two victims and plan how I would do it all again.
The Lisp from her tongue stud tells me I was with Dani.
I instantly remember a dark room where I see the murderer looking at me through his ski mask threatening to kill me. Knowing we were in the same situation knowing the murderer had found me even after I had escaped... it's different this time though..... I know what's going on and sadly Mike and Dani don't know what they're in for.
I start "I don't remember much except for being in a dark room....."
Dani holds her hand up telling me she has already heard enough.
"You don't remember? well then you are useless to us. We will just have to figure our own way out of this." She says.
"I went through this ten years ago!!" I scream at her "I am not useless I can help. Let me help get us out of here!"
"Why? if you can't remember details about what this lunatic did then how can you help us?"
I about spill the secret that I have kept for so long.
Mike sitting in the corner can feel the tension rising and steps in.
"Then help us. Tell us everything you can remember."
I was about to try as hard as I could to remember the story that I wanted to forget when we hear what sounds like a large metal door turning.
All of a sudden a bright light fills the room when I look up I notice that a door to the outside world has opened. We all sprint to the opening all taking in deep breaths of fresh air.
Dani looks around when she realizes we are in a long hall with the roof taken off so we could see the stars.
"There is a door at the end of the hall" Mike says. He looks at me seeing if this jogged my memory.
It did but I haven't shown that it did.
I start walking towards the door with Mike and Dani following close behind. This is the first time i get to look around at the surrounding area and myself.
I have a knife and gun the other two have the clothes on their backs.
I remember everything now.
I was hit over the head ten years ago on my way home from work. I woke up strapped to a table that had surgical supplies next to it. I panicked and started fidgeting to see if I could get out of the restraints. A large door opened to my right and in walks a man wearing a ski mask and a suit holding a knife. He looks at me and starts threatening to kill me for what I had done. He told me I had one chance to prove that I didn't do it. He held the blade to my neck. I start begging him to spare me that I didn't know what I had done. He laughed. Looked me in the eye and said "That's what everyone else said." He raised the blade to stab me in the heart. My hand became partially lose I pulled as hard as I could. It came loose. My hand grabbed the murderers arm. I struggled with him when I finally knocked the blade out of his hand the murderer ran to grab it while I try to get my other hand free. I look up and see he has grabbed the knife and is coming at me. When gets to me I grabbed one of the scalpels and stabbed him in the eye. He drops the knife on the table I am on. I grab it and stab him in the chest he instantly falls to the ground and cries out in pain. I get myself free and look down at the cold body of the man that just tried to kill me. I walk out of the room down the hall and into a giant lobby. I am in an old abandoned office building. I start walking towards the doors when I collapse. I wake up to the paramedics taking me away on a stretcher. I couldn't remember where I was or why was there.
I stop dead in my tracks startling Dani and Mike. "Are you alright?" Dani asks?
In one move I unholster my gun and shoot Dani in the heart.
Blood splatters on Mike. The look on his face is of pure horror. He looks up at me and falls to his knees begging me to not shoot him. I laugh and say "that's what everyone else said" *BANG* A lifeless corpse hits the ground. Pools of blood start growing as I stare at the bodies. I laugh quietly and turn to walk away. I remember everything now. I kidnapped both Mike and Dani in the intentions of killing them. I had put us in that small room and put the door on a timer so it would open. I needed to kill again. I had done this so I could kill. So i could have that rush again. I had it but it was already gone. I needed to kill again. I walked to the door opened it and there I was in the same lobby where the murderer had taken me. I walked out of the partially destroyed building and headed towards the park across the street to pick out my next two victims and plan how I would do it all again.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Little Lion Man
Weep for yourself my man
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on all fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my.....
Tremble for yourself my man
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble Little Lion Man
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Ahhhhhhh........
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
You'll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man
You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on all fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my.....
Tremble for yourself my man
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble Little Lion Man
You'll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Ahhhhhhh........
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my dear?
And it was your heart on the line
I really messed it up this time
Didn't I my dear?
Didn't I my dear?
I remember...... or do I?
Do I really remember? I'm not sure.... I mean I remember a lot of stuff like my first kiss, my first dog, my little brother being born. But the thing that still haunts me, that makes me scared every time I get in a car I'm not sure if I really do remember...
In 2003 we were driving up as a family to my aunts house for a visit. My dad was driving my mom had shotgun. My older sister and little brother were in the middle of the car and me and my older brother were in the back. All I remember is my dad yelling "hold on!!" the next thing I remember I was climbing into the back of the ambulance looking back at the devastating car crash. from what my parents told me this is how the car accident happened.
We were driving up to my aunts house in Layton going northbound. Southbound traffic was at a standstill. A man in a suburban was talking to his friend not paying attention to the road in front of him. When he realized that he was going to fast and wouldn't stop in time to miss the guy in front of him he swerved into on coming traffic flipping his car hitting 3 cars in front of us my dad swerved so that the rolling suburban wouldn't hit us head on but he hit the car in front of us and that hit us on the front right side of the car. Our car was destroyed no one died but everyone was left with scars and trauma. My dad had his arm cut open from his tricep down to his forearm. My mom and I got a concussion. My older sister and brother got whiplash that reversed the angle of their neck. My little brother got cuts all over his head from the broken glass. When the paramedics showed up they asked which car we were in. When we told him that we were in the mini van all of their jaws dropped all of them told us that from the look of the car that no one should have survived the crash.
I don't remember anything from the week after.. I have been told that I only asked question and that I didn't talk. I don't have memories of my own of the car accident but I have my families memories and that is all i'll ever have. Sometimes I wish I remembered but at the same time I don't it's scarred me and i don't really want to remember.
In 2003 we were driving up as a family to my aunts house for a visit. My dad was driving my mom had shotgun. My older sister and little brother were in the middle of the car and me and my older brother were in the back. All I remember is my dad yelling "hold on!!" the next thing I remember I was climbing into the back of the ambulance looking back at the devastating car crash. from what my parents told me this is how the car accident happened.
We were driving up to my aunts house in Layton going northbound. Southbound traffic was at a standstill. A man in a suburban was talking to his friend not paying attention to the road in front of him. When he realized that he was going to fast and wouldn't stop in time to miss the guy in front of him he swerved into on coming traffic flipping his car hitting 3 cars in front of us my dad swerved so that the rolling suburban wouldn't hit us head on but he hit the car in front of us and that hit us on the front right side of the car. Our car was destroyed no one died but everyone was left with scars and trauma. My dad had his arm cut open from his tricep down to his forearm. My mom and I got a concussion. My older sister and brother got whiplash that reversed the angle of their neck. My little brother got cuts all over his head from the broken glass. When the paramedics showed up they asked which car we were in. When we told him that we were in the mini van all of their jaws dropped all of them told us that from the look of the car that no one should have survived the crash.
I don't remember anything from the week after.. I have been told that I only asked question and that I didn't talk. I don't have memories of my own of the car accident but I have my families memories and that is all i'll ever have. Sometimes I wish I remembered but at the same time I don't it's scarred me and i don't really want to remember.
Why?
Why am I always late on my Blog posts? I dunno I can probably make a list why....
I mean I like writing but sometimes it seems so tedious.... it seems so boring.... I seem so boring.. I mean look at my other blog posts. all of them suck. I am not good like half the kids in this class. When we go to the computer lab and look at other peoples blogs i see them and i think to myself "Why can't I be that good?...." pisses me off why are some people so flipping talented?? and why did I get the short end of the stick and suck at writing? at everything as a matter of fact....
1. I am probably one of the laziest people you will ever meet
2. I find a way to get out of it
3. I "forget'
4. I don't want to do them......
that one word.......
Disappointment- there are so many people I have disappointed. That is one of my biggest fears. Letting someone down that you love and care about. I hate that feeling and when I let someone down I hate myself. It is the worst feeling and right now I have that disappointed feeling because I let my parents down. The one word that hit me the most when my dad was talking to me was " this is so disappointing" what I heard though is "you have disappointed me" to be honest when I heard that I got the feeling that I am not good enough that I am a horrible person for disappointing someone I love. I don't have anything else to say other than I will rise up from this I will get stronger. I will not disappoint you again.
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